Thursday, August 5, 2010

What would you choose?

Suppose you were given a choice. You could have any conceivable superpower. What would you choose?

Super strength? Well that worked well for Superman, but by the 50th time you accidentally pulled a door off of its hinges or crushed a kitten you might begin to rethink your selection.

Super senses? Spiderman did well with this one. But personally, I’m not sure I’d want Palatka to smell any stronger. And I definitely wouldn’t want Hell to be any louder. So I’d pass on that one as well.

Invisibility? That’s intriguing. But I think it might be a prelude to mental illness. If I had the ability to be invisible, I’m thinking my personal hygiene would begin to suffer. And once your personal hygiene goes down the drain, madness must soon follow.

No, for me there would be only one choice: the ability to manipulate time.

With this power, you don’t need any of the others. Plus, this power gives you the chance to stretch out those periods of life that you want to savor and to accelerate those things you would prefer to be over.

I’d like to say that I would use this power only for good - like stopping time in order to scoop up the small dog that has wandered into traffic before it got hurt. I would indeed use it for those types of purposes.

But, I’m afraid I would use it for other – somewhat less charitable - purposes as well. Like slowing down time just enough so that every evening when Mrs. TSMK gets ready for bed her normal cadence of disrobing is transformed into a sultry striptease. That would be awesome.

Unfortunately, I cannot manipulate time in normal space and so I am unlikely to find a way to surreptitiously change my bedroom into a gentlemen’s club. But I can manipulate what I’ll call Blog-time.

And I now exercise my right to do just that. Notwithstanding earlier suggestions about the length of time that TSMKBO-YAG would remain in effect. I hereby declare the giveaway completed. For I have made my selection.

There were many excellent entries. And in truth, I wish I could pick more than one. But in the end, my choice was clear. Amy from Iowa ran away with this one.

For you see, Amy suggested that I need a mascot for my desk. But not just any mascot. No, Amy recognized the deeply spiritual nature of this journal and, in recognition of my admittedly unusual leanings, she committed to making: The Echidna.

And so, with Amy’s help, I will be paying homage to the all-knowing echidna who sits at the center of the universe. She will knit together the skin of this spiny deity – although he will not be anatomically correct and she will therefore not attempt to knit a representation of his four-sided penis. I will work to create a suitable environment within my office for him to sit. And, once appropriately enshrined, The Echidna will prove a worthy subject of contemplation and reflection.

Thank you to all who participated.  And thank you Amy for your fantastic submission.  Echidna permitting, I will post pictures on his arrival.



  1. How cool! Congrats to Amy, and to you. Looking forward to seeing the Finished Project. ~t

  2. I have been saying this for years! The one superpower I want is the one that Evie Garland had (and later, Zach Morris, but Evie had it first) to be able to stop time, do whatever she needed to do, and then re-start the world around her. Although, I admit, there are a few beautiful men I might enjoy during a time slow-down as well.