A bit of housekeeping

Just over a year in to the blog, and it seems time to make a few changes.

No, this will not now become a forum for discussing Choreplay.  That has been done.

However, I recently learned that the http://www.thestraightmaleknitter.com/ domain has become available.  And like a 15 year old boy being offered a ride in a bus filled with scantily clad cheerleaders I jumped at the opportunity.  So readers can now access the blog through either the blogger site or the stand-alone domain.  At present, the domain will redirect readers to the blogger site.  But soon - all that will change.

How, you ask?  How can a banjo-playing neoluddite learn the skills necessary to develop a web presence?  It is true, it seems on par with the World of Warcraft commercials featuring Mr. T. 


Well, I'll tell you how.

I've acquired a minion.

And not just any minion.  A redheaded minion.  Those are the best type.  Plus, my minion is female.  Yes. You heard me right.  I have a redheaded female minion.  Truly, world domination cannot be far away. 

I know this because Mrs. TSMK is also redheaded.  Although she clearly is not my minion.  I'm more of her minion, but that's a whole other blog post.  Harnessing the power of the redhead can be a scary thing - like splitting the atom.  This should be interesting.

I've never met my minion, nor even seen a photo of her in any significant detail. And for that reason I'm free to assume she bears a startling resemblance to Leeloo from The Fifth Element.  At least, if Leeloo had enjoyed knitting and agreed to be compensated in yarn.

So Leeloo has agreed to assist in developing the domain site as an upgrade to this forum.  When we're finished, we hope to have some additional functionality not available (or at least that I can't figure out how to manage) on the blogger site.  For example, a gallery of finished objects.

But this is an interactive forum.  And so we're soliciting input into what other additions/improvements you might like to see on the blog.  If you have any suggestions, please feel free to email them to redheadedminion@yahoo.com.  No, seriously.  That's Leeloo's email address.  Too cool.


So far, Leeloo has already exceeded my expectations, as she drags this neo-luddite kicking and screaming into the world of social media.  For, starting last Friday, I'm told I now have a facebook fan page.

As a second item of housekeeping, I'm pleased to announce that I've mailed off four skeins of Cascade plus two skeins of my handspun to Amy in Iowa. 

As the selected participant in the TSMKBO-YAG event, Amy indicated that she prefers purples, blues and greens.  So, purples, blues and greens it is.  Along with one skein of black/brown for construction of the Echidna.  I can't wait.

~TSMK

What would you choose?

Suppose you were given a choice. You could have any conceivable superpower. What would you choose?

Super strength? Well that worked well for Superman, but by the 50th time you accidentally pulled a door off of its hinges or crushed a kitten you might begin to rethink your selection.

Super senses? Spiderman did well with this one. But personally, I’m not sure I’d want Palatka to smell any stronger. And I definitely wouldn’t want Hell to be any louder. So I’d pass on that one as well.

Invisibility? That’s intriguing. But I think it might be a prelude to mental illness. If I had the ability to be invisible, I’m thinking my personal hygiene would begin to suffer. And once your personal hygiene goes down the drain, madness must soon follow.

No, for me there would be only one choice: the ability to manipulate time.

With this power, you don’t need any of the others. Plus, this power gives you the chance to stretch out those periods of life that you want to savor and to accelerate those things you would prefer to be over.

I’d like to say that I would use this power only for good - like stopping time in order to scoop up the small dog that has wandered into traffic before it got hurt. I would indeed use it for those types of purposes.

But, I’m afraid I would use it for other – somewhat less charitable - purposes as well. Like slowing down time just enough so that every evening when Mrs. TSMK gets ready for bed her normal cadence of disrobing is transformed into a sultry striptease. That would be awesome.

Unfortunately, I cannot manipulate time in normal space and so I am unlikely to find a way to surreptitiously change my bedroom into a gentlemen’s club. But I can manipulate what I’ll call Blog-time.

And I now exercise my right to do just that. Notwithstanding earlier suggestions about the length of time that TSMKBO-YAG would remain in effect. I hereby declare the giveaway completed. For I have made my selection.

There were many excellent entries. And in truth, I wish I could pick more than one. But in the end, my choice was clear. Amy from Iowa ran away with this one.

For you see, Amy suggested that I need a mascot for my desk. But not just any mascot. No, Amy recognized the deeply spiritual nature of this journal and, in recognition of my admittedly unusual leanings, she committed to making: The Echidna.

And so, with Amy’s help, I will be paying homage to the all-knowing echidna who sits at the center of the universe. She will knit together the skin of this spiny deity – although he will not be anatomically correct and she will therefore not attempt to knit a representation of his four-sided penis. I will work to create a suitable environment within my office for him to sit. And, once appropriately enshrined, The Echidna will prove a worthy subject of contemplation and reflection.

Thank you to all who participated.  And thank you Amy for your fantastic submission.  Echidna permitting, I will post pictures on his arrival.

~TSMK

TSMKBO-YAG Update & a Confession

First - the update:

As of today, we're approximately one week into the TSMKBO-YAG and things are definitely interesting.  I've received a number of very appealing offers, ranging from hats to bowls to amigurimi.  And yes, I've been referred to as Delectable.  I confess I rather like the sound of that last bit.

And lest anyone forget, the selected participant will be receiving 4 skeins of Cascade 220, along with two rustic skeins of yarn, hand-washed, hand-carded and hand-spun by yours truly. 

And now - the confession:

I can't pick.  There, I said it.  Now it is out in the open.  And after all, since the first step is admitting you have the problem I feel good about coming clean.  Whew - catharsis can be exhausting.

But I still can't pick.  At least not with respect to knitting.  I'm actually getting almost decent at my clawhammer banjo efforts - and can passably flatpick when required.  But picking at knitting?  That's another story altogether.

This past weekend I took a class at my LYS and still all-time favorite shop.  The class was intended to teach picking to those of us who throw.

I throw.  Vigorously.  And I think I'm relatively quick at it so I wasn't interested in learning to pick in order to gain speed.  No, I wanted to learn because like an idiot I recently purchased Traditional Scandinavian Knitting by Sheila MaGregor and Mostly Mittens: Ethnic Knitting Designs from Russia by Charlene Schurch.

Apparently, one of the traditions in traditional Scandinavian and Russian knitting is to use as many colors as possible.  I've knitted a few multi-hued things in the past, but have always thought it would be nice to find a way to knit with one color in each hand.  Picking offered me the promise of doing just that.








But alas, that promise went unfulfilled when my fingers revealed their true stripes.  Manual dexterity was a thing of the past.  In fact, as the class progressed I actually began to wonder if perhaps my fingers had been drinking.  That sounds strange, obviously, but if I recall correctly a lesson learned in my youth - this is entirely possible.



If Mr. Bimble can hire the crew.  Then perhaps I have my own Mr. Bimble - or Mr. Bumble.  Or an entire Mr. Bumble family.  And if that is possible, then it is possible that they were drinking on the job.

Yes.  That must be it.  It isn't that I lack manual dexterity, it is the besotted Bumble family living in my fingers which must be blamed.  I must speak to The Echidna about them and perhaps get them into some form of twelve-step program.











And so, although I cannot yet adequately pick, I will soldier on.  I want to make some multistranded mittens for use this winter, and so need to get started. 

On a positive note, I finished my first foray into the world of entrelac: a blanket for the child of a coworker.  Some will recognize it as the blanket which first caused me to come to grips with my adorableness.  Finished and blocked, it is roughly 28" x 48" - or the approximate size of a crib mattress.  Berroco Comfort in pink and white, with a pink i-cord edging.  At approximately 49,000 stitches (not including the edging), this one took quite a while from start to finish, although its progress was interrupted for a period by the need to complete the Jungle Party Stole.  Now that it is done, I can get back to working on the next item to be given away (which should follow soon after the completion of TSMKBO-YAG.


~TSMK

TSMKBO-YAG - Upping the Ante

After much thought (and one suggestion) I've decided to up the ante slightly.  So, in addition to the Cascade 220 - the selected participant will also receive two of my own attempts at handspun.

The cream skein is laceweight - about 165 yards.  The brown skein is worsted - about 75 yards.  Both are rustic.  But both were hand picked, washed, carded and spun by me. 

~TSMK

The Importance of Ritual

Today marks the one-year anniversary of this blog. It has been a lot of fun, and more than a fair amount of work. I’m averaging slightly less than one post per week. That doesn’t seem like a lot, but it takes a decent amount of time for me to center myself, make contact with the all-knowing echidna who sits at the center of the universe, channel his energy and then put pen to paper (or finger to keyboard, as the case may be). Plus, all that time takes away from my available knitting time, so the more I write the less I might seem to have to write about. Quite the paradox – Zeno would be proud.

As I am a creature of habit, I would like to find a way to incorporate my blogospheric efforts into my daily routine. To develop a ritual of putting finger to keyboard at the same time every day. This approach serves me well in many other aspects of my life. I know, for example, that every morning when I brush my teeth I will place my left hand on the edge of the sink, lean on that arm, and stare at my face in the mirror during the process. By engaging in this ritual every morning, I inure myself to the potential shock that might result if I failed to stare at myself for simply a few days, and returned to the looking glass to see the steady effects of the aging process.

Ritual is good. It is healthy. And it helps us cope. Just ask a few of my retirement-age colleagues who still come to the office every day. If they failed to come to the office they might die – or at least suffer the pangs of catastrophic constipation.

I am a fan of ritual. So much so in fact that I make a practice of incorporating ritual into my life wherever possible. And I hope to share the benefits of ritual with others. So, for example, I underwent the arduous challenge of Internet-based ordination so that I might be qualified to officiate at weddings and other similarly ritual-laden ceremonies. But despite the book that came with my excellently laminated card proclaiming me The Right Reverend TSMK, my ordination did not provide me with any insight into how I might incorporate ritual into my blogging.

No, this effort (and its recently launched companion blog: http://bytesofgrass.blogspot.com/) are apparently unaided by ritual. The echidna will not be constrained.

And so, without ritual, I must fall back on what I find motivates me most about this blog: the readers. And as I am not hindered by scruples, I am prepared to offer continued incentive toward readership. Yes. That’s right. I’m giving something else away.  I’m hereby announcing the start of the TSMK BLOG ONE-YEAR ANNIVERSARY GIVEAWAY (the “TSMKBO-YAG”).

But this something is not a finished object (but stay tuned for an FO giveaway in the next month or so). And it is not without price. Here’s the deal. I’ve decided to give away something from my stash. Several somethings, in fact. I’m giving away four skeins of my favorite workaday yarn – Cascade 220. But there’s a catch. I’d like to receive something in return. Specifically, I’m hoping we can reach a deal on an FO. I supply the yarn and the recipient uses some of it (absolutely no more than two skeins – preferably one skein) to make me something. It can be something for my office. Something for me to wear. Something that will spur me to continue to blog about the absurdity of being a straight, knitting, skateboarding, banjo playing, lawyer father of three.

Deal?

If you’re interested, shoot me an email at tsmkblog@yahoo.com, and let me know what you would propose to make and what color Cascade 220 you would prefer to use (I have it in many, many shades). I will keep this offer open until at least August 15 – subject to extension or early close in my sole discretion.

~TSMK