I find myself in a landscape of isolation and despair. Without a living soul to provide comfort. Those of you without a strong constitution may wish to stop reading; my situation is pretty grim.
I've been banished from the living room. And from my comfortable chair.
It is true. And it all started so innocently enough. . .
Shortly after Mrs. TSMK and I were married, we met a very pleasant young woman - "Pandora". She was a classmate of Mrs. TSMK's in graduate school. We grew to be good friends, inviting Pandora to dinner at our place on many an evening - or sharing a table with her at Pandora's favorite restaurant.
This relationship continued for many years. When Pandora married, we were invited to her wedding. When we moved over to our current home, Pandora visited a few times. She and her husband decided they liked the area so much that they moved from Seattle to our island community across the Puget Sound.
Mrs. TSMK and I had children. So did Pandora and her husband. Everything was going swimmingly.
But then it happened. Pandora began selling Mary Kay cosmetics. And from that point forward, my life began the inexorable decline that has led to this moment. For tonight, Mrs. TSMK has fallen into the web. It is true - and I fear that she may be lost. She is hosting a Mary Kay party. And not just any Mary Kay party, but one specifically dedicated to foot care products.
How am I ever going to explain this to the children? Even as I write this, they're sleeping peacefully in their beds - innocently oblivious to the monstrous and all-consuming danger less than 50 feet away.
My only consolation is that I have my knitting. And my banjo. Specifically, I have a recently completed banjo - my attempts at refurbishing a derelict 50-60 year old instrument. I stripped off the old cracked finish and applied a light coat of polyurethane. The fretboard was cleaned. On went new hooks and tuners. The old busted head was replaced with a real skin head.
A new bridge and strings were installed. And now - it sings again. Although not particularly well. It wasn't a brilliantly made instrument to begin with - and so no amount of polishing this turd will make it a thing of visual or aural beauty. But it plays - and I suspect it will find a good life and much use in our VW camper.
I need to sign off now. The demonic laughter coming from the living room is getting stronger. I'm worried that they may be coming for me - trying to drag me into a Mordor of foot scrub and scented lotion.
Stay safe - and may the blessings of the Echidna be upon you.
~TSMK
